No Actually, You’re the Moron

One of the pains of commuting to and from the city is the people.  Squeezing your tired angry self onto a train with a hundred other angry people just makes me…well…angry!  Of course this is understandable.  It’s 5 o’clock, everyone’s had a long day, no one wants to be pushed and shoved on a train after a day of work. This I completely understand.  What I don’t understand is the scene I witnessed this morning during my commute into the city:

The train had just pulled out of my station, and I was happily nestled into a seat between two others on a quiet train, when all of a sudden a woman screams “EXCUSE ME!”  Some people turned to stare at her.  I’ve seen enough short-tempered people on trains to not be intrigued by it any longer, so I chose to ignore her.  But my ears couldn’t block out her incessant ranting, occasionally interrupted by a man’s mumbling voice – I’m assuming he was the one she was yelling at.  All I could hear for the next couple minutes was “NO!  YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO ASSAULT ME IN MY SEAT!  YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!  YOU’RE ASSAULTING ME!”  And all this time I’m sitting there thinking…this woman does realize that everyone on this train probably thinks she’s the moron, right?

After some silence, she decides she’s going to call the MBTA line to report this man who “assaulted her.”  She tells them “I’d like to know how to report a male passenger on the ____ train who was assaulting me.  Yes, he’s still here.”  Understandably, in my opinion, the man gets up and gets off the train.  The woman continues, “He’s leaving now.  I told him I was going to report him and he left right away.”  She then proceeds to give a detailed description of him to MBTA police, as if she’s part of CSI: Miami or something.  My favorite part was when she was asked how the man assaulted her and she replied “He pushed into my arm!  He pushed into my arm three times!  Well…he’s kind of a big guy.  But he pushed into my arm multiple times!”


Note to woman: when a guy is big and he sits down in between two people, he’s probably going to rub against your arm by accident.  That’s not assault.  That’s you being a drama-queen.  Grow.  Up.

Doesn’t she sound like a gem?

5 PM train during rush hour after a long day: you’re cranky, I get it.  7:30 AM after a night’s sleep and the day has yet to begin: what the **** is wrong with you??


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